did you get engaged???
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
