used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
