i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
