Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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