at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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