Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
