I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
