You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
