The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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