I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
