Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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