if i can run in heels then i can drive
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
