That's intense
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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