You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
