dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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