Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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