Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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