Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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