My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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