As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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