oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
