ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
