the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
