why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
