Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
