just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
