let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
