I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
