4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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