I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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