Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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