I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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