i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
