i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
