so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
