Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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