I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
