Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
