Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
