Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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