I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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