That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
