i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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