Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
