U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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