so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
