I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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