I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
