I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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