he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
