If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
